For the first time in as long as I can remember, I am actually happy being by myself and not in a relationship. When I was a teenager, I always had a boyfriend or I hated being single, not in a crazy, animalistic hunting way, just wanting ‘someone’ to be with. I was in a four year (extremely!) difficult relationship at the end of sixth form and throughout university but eventually came to my senses and left for good – which was the most empowering thing ever it turned out. I was in another relationship fairly quickly afterwards but just wasn’t completely ‘there’. I have now been single since around the end of July and I can honestly say I’ve never been happier. Why haven’t I ever tried this before?! Now this isn’t supposed to sound like a ‘man-hating’ post in any way, shape or form, I just had a realisation moment a month or so ago and thought it would make for a good blog post.
There are so many things that your eyes are opened to when you’re actually happy being yourself so I thought I’d share with you why. Either you’ll feel the same or it will give you a light at the end of the tunnel that it isn’t all bad and that you will eventually be happy and love the single life! This post also doesn’t mean that I don’t ever want a boyfriend again, but, for now, I am just happy and content be on my own, and I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.
- You don’t have to worry about making time for someone else.
- I have so many plans for the next few months.
- Spending quality time with yourself.
- Saving money.
- I’m free to do whatever I want.
Don’t get me wrong, when I’m in a relationship, making time kind of just comes naturally if you want to be with that person. BUT, it is amazing to have a day of doing completely nothing and getting lost watching the TV on the sofa without thinking ‘I should have spent the day with so-and-so’ or ‘oops – I didn’t reply to that text’. Lazy days are the best and I don’t have to worry about spending 9 hours of my day watching Pretty Little Liars…
As you know, I’m moving to Florida which I’m incredibly excited about which means it’s probably pretty silly even considering a relationship/dating someone right now. Not only that, I have so many plans in the next few months because of it with catching up with friends and family, getting back into shape, festivals, moving out, etc. I literally don’t think I have time to date!
I know I’ve already mentioned lazy days and doing nothing but I’m 23, nearly 24 years old. I have an idea of what I want to do when I come back but that could all completely change. When I last worked at Disney, I learned so much about myself, I became a different person and started to be more myself. I have time to think about the things I want out of life and be selfish without having to take anyone else into consideration and grow as a person.
I think most people will probably agree, you spend more money when you’re in a relationship. You go out for meals more, have drinks, go to the cinema, travel to see them, etc. Again, when you’re with someone, these things don’t particularly matter but it’s nice to not feel obliged to go out for a meal and either treat them or pay for your half. It also means you can spend it on yourself!
I don’t have to check what someone else’s plans are before organising seeing people, I can get as drunk as I like without being judged when I roll in at 5am. I don’t have to get dressed. I can eat whatever I want. I can flirt (and whatever that leads to…) with whoever I want. I can cry. I can do all things that are classed as ‘lady like’. I can watch soppy films. I can starfish in bed. I don’t have to answer to anyone. And I like this. For the first time ever. I am single and happy.